My photo
Rhode Island, United States

Monday, December 15, 2008

Peanut Butter filled Production (And 10 things I've learned!)

So far today I've...
-been to the gym
-studied an hour and a half (more than I planned!)
-made breakfast
-made lunch
-blogged once (now twice!)
-made dough for 72 peanut butter ginger cookies
-did the dishes
-added a new photo album to my facebook ;)
-wrote the first of my 52 things installments...
and now I'm about to...
-bake 72 cookies
-empty laundry
-wrap christmas presents
-make dinner
-eat dinner
-watch heroes with the boy
-review a bit more

What a crazy, productive day!!

After making my dough (and licking one beater, I made Nick lick the other one!!) I put it in the fridge to cool before making myself lunch. I used 1 egg, 1 egg white, scrambled them up and put them on top of a bed of spinach with some reduced fat cheddar cheese on a whole wheat wrap, with some carrots on the side. This plus the dough was a delicious lunch!

I think I may be ready for a snack soon though...
I'll get back to that later!

And now I present...
Installment #1 of 52 in 52...

10 Things I learned about myself in 2008

1. I learned I can live without luxuries.
I learned there are very few things I NEED in life- family, friends, music, good food, books…
Being in a serious money crisis this year, with Italy wiping away my funds this summer and lack of working due to school work this semester has left me in a position of very little finances. I learned that I don’t need some of the extra things I used to ‘need’… that certain things are luxuries and treats and there are things that are more important than others… I should spend my time and money on THEM, and work towards saving for other luxuries.

2. I learned to breathe.
Stress has always taken it’s toll on me, and I learned I can not let this happen. I need to let the little things go, and not build up into a ball of stress I can’t contain and makes me upset. I need my sleep. I need my yoga. I need my meditation. I need to feel balanced, mind and spirit. I can’t work too hard, and I can’t procrastinate. I need to breathe, keep chugging along and take a break every once in a while to relax, listen to music or just calm myself down. I work better, I feel better, I’m happier this way.

3. I learned to not push myself too far.
Again, when I push myelf too far, I stress out… I get into an unhealthy state, either incredibly unhappy when it comes to school work or overworked when it comes to running, malnourished when it comes to eating perfect. I learned I need to space out my work, and if I get a bad grade, I get a bad grade. I do better the next time. I need sleep, and if I don’t get it, I’m worthless.
I learned I can’t run every day. It’s not good for my body, and feeling like I have to run doesn’t make me happy… I need to do things that make me happy, and only things that make me happy.

4. I learned I need complete protein.
My shot at veganism was a good effort. I learned I can live without meat, and that people can live delicious, healthy lives eliminating all animal products from their diets. If that works for you, good for you. That being said, when I started eating meat again I felt the most incredible change in my body. I have more energy, I feel physically better, and I’m building muscle like crazy. Some people need different things than others. I need my complete proteins.

5. I learned I need to travel. Staying in one place for too long is stifiling.
Traveling to Boston, New York, New Hampshire, Italy, Canada and back has probably been the best thing I could have done this year. Getting out of R.I., and even out of America is so essential for me. I love the city, I love the mountains, and I love the sea. I love change, and I need to explore the world… every time I leave I learn something new about other, about myself. Italy was the most incredible experience of my life and I think about my amazing times there every single day. I will never forget my experience, and all I learned from the people and beauty of San Demetrio. I hope to travel more in the future, it makes me happier than anything!

6. I learned what I want to do with my life.
I’ve known for a while where my passions lie; I’ve been back and forth for years on what I actually want to do with the things I know I love. Now, nothing is set in stone. But I realized the things I am most passionate about (i.e. cooking and exercise) are the things I should be focusing on because that is how I am going to go far and live a successful, happy life- by doing what I love. I know now I need not be afraid of not making enough money or moving along slowly. As long as I do what I want to do, and make other people, as well as myself happy while I do it, then my life is going the way I planned. I will get my degree in Nutrition and Kinesiology. I want to go to Culinary school. I also want to be a personal trainer. I want to make people realize you can be healthy and fit without depriving yourself, eating delicious foods and living long while doing it. Will I make it work? Of course I will. Because I can do anything I put my mind to.

7. I learned to love my body, and myself.
At the beginning of the year, I was twenty pounds under weight. I pushed myself too hard, I forced myself to run when I probably shouldn’t have, I didn’t eat enough and I was not as happy as I thought I was. Now that I understand what truly makes me happy, I realize how much of a content front I put up. I hated being super skinny. I didn’t look healthy, and I tried to convince myself I was, but deep down I knew I wasn’t. It took a lot to force myself to gain 10 pounds, which I successfully did myself. And then I went to Italy, where I gained another seven in “happy pounds”. This was probably the best thing I could have done- let myself eat what I want to eat, when I want to eat it, and not deprive myself of the luxuries that were available to me. Sure, at times I ate WAY too much and I probably ate ‘too much’ gelato (hence the fat gain)… but you know what? I had a great time, the food was amazing and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to eat gelato on the way home from lunch every day ever again. I’m glad I did it.
When I got back from Italia, I was a bit unhappy with the way my body had changed. Then I realized, its all up to me. I knew as much as I hated reading “97 pounds” on the scale (in my defense I had disordered eating, 97 IS a lot if you’ve been reading “80” for the past year!), I needed that extra weight and I needed to keep it on. So I started eating healthier again, and I started working out more. I LOVE the way my body is changing. I still have a ways to go to get my tummy as flat as I’d like (I know I’ll never look like a fitness competitor, but I also know I can do the best I can!) and my legs a bit firmer… but my arms? I can see muscle now!! I love looking in the mirror now, because I’m radiant. I’m happy, life is great and I look great at a perfect weight for my height, with growing muscles that I worked hard for!!. I have never loved myself so much, and that is the best love you can have.

8. I learned to love others.
Aside from loving myself, I learned I could love others in a way I never thought I could. I’ve been through a lot this past year, with friends, family… I began to appreciate my parents, my sister much more living away from them- and it made it so much better when I saw them. I learned to love others for the way they are- not in the way you might be thinking, I’ve always been open to differences. But friends who have changed, friends I had to learn to love all over again. I learned to accept these changes and stay true to the friendships, through goood and bad. I met new friends, I learned to love old friends even more, I grew closer with so many people. I learned I could hold a real relationship for more than a month at a time. A feat I never thought I would accomplish… still beats me why he’s still with me, but I’m not complaining ;) I learned what it means to be a true friend and what happens when relationships come between other relationships. I learned “Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart”-Eleanor Roosevelt.

9. I learned to say no.
When I was struggling with Anatomy, my other school work was piling up and I was working 4-5 days a week, I had to say no. I reduced my work schedule, started scheduling more and writing more lists, and my anatomy grade improved. Earlier in the year I had to say no for other reasons… sometimes you have to realize what’s important to say yes to, and when you need to say no even though it may be the last word you want to say. “No” can be just as powerful as “yes”.

10. I learned I can do ANYTHING I put my mind to.
Passing Organic Chemistry, Passing Anatomy.
Flying to Italy and living there for a month. Living on my own for four.
Only a few examples of the things I have done that are special to me, because I had my doubts SO many times that these things would actually happen, and I am so glad they did!

What did you learn about yourself this year?


Taylor said...

Those 10 things you learned about yourself this year, are great! i want to do something in nutrition too, hence the food blog! :)

your lunc looks great! i had a wrap too, but mine was just turkey.. we're completley out of any other sandwich ingredients. i bet the egg & spinach wrap was delicious! <3

VeggieGirl said...

You've had a busy day, for sure!!

Wonderful list of 10 things, Kristin - you've come so far in your journey to better health!! Kudos!!

Olga said...

What a fabulous idea to make such a list. I think that sometimes all of us need to step back and really think about things like these. Your list looks fantastic!

I am also a big fan of travel...I feel like I didn't really know myself before I went abroad...those experiences teach you so much!

Something I learned this year is to avoid undermining myself...I always freak out about school work or a particular class or a project, thinking that I won't do well, when I do! I learned to appreciate my own abilities and push myself forward, in a positive way, instead of dwelling on the things I think I can't achieve.

hk said...

totally awesome, good for you!!

glidingcalm said...

love the list!!!

Melissa said...

I am crying as I am reading this post, it is so so beautiful. It is a beautiful thing to love and accept yourself. I think only then can you start to become the person you want to be!

Gena said...


Could you clarify what you mean by "complete protein"? You make it sound as though there aren't any vegan sources, when amaranth, blue green algae, buckwheat, hempseed, quinoa, soy, spirulina, and bee pollen all are technically complete...


LegalErin said...

I learned that I made the right decision by coming to law school. I learned that my family is the most important thing to me. I learned that I feel so much better when I don't eat white flour and sugar. I learned that I am SO BLESSED.

alliterating said...

:) I'm so glad you came to those 10 revelations.

Good for you on becoming honest wiwth yourself and accepting your healthy/natural weight. I've suspected many, many bloggers of obsessive/disordered eating, and I used to think you were pretty restrictive as well... but lately (and this entry) you've proved me wrong, and I'm happy you're happy and healthier now. It's true -- every Body is different, and everyone has a personal standard of "health" -- but I'm glad you have found yours :)


Kristin said...

By 'complete' I am referring to animal sources of protein. And yes, there are vegan sources- but only Quinoa and Soy are technically considered 'complete' because the supply the body with all essential amino acids AND the body can digest them more efficiently. Yes, if you are a vegetarian or vegan there are a plethora of great protein sources. I was not in any way saying that vegetarians did not have sources of complete protein; I was a vegetarian for 3 years and had an adequate protein intake. However, I have learned that PERSONALLY my body reacts better and uses animal sources of complete proteins more efficiently. I was referring to myself in all of this, not anyone else's choices of protein.